How to cleverly hide a dodge
According to various surveys, between 48% and 63% have cheated on their regular partner before.
We have collected some tips in this article so that you do not get caught on your dodge.
If it is not just about covering up for you, but much more about first finding a suitable partner for an additional relationship, then we may be able to help you with the following article: Caution, cheating: Do not let yourself be fooled going to cheat!
But now to the point: only a few of you live in an open relationship, but most will take a dodge at some point. That is why we have prepared some good advice, so that your erotic adventures do not immediately come to light.
In principle, your dodge can only happen through the following options:
- You leave tangible traces (strange hairs in the marriage bed, inflagranti getting caught, unambiguous SMS or e-mail).
- You make yourself suspicious because you start to behave differently in your main relationship (presents because of a bad conscience, etc.).
- The partner of your additional relationship is going to interfere with matters.
- Deliberately initiated or accidental co-learners do not shut up.
By the way, you take a great risk if you cheat in your own immediate environment. Your husband's best friend? The career-seeking secretary? (Never fuck in the company!) Then you can wait for the problems. Instead, look for a partner on the internet for an additional relationship.
Dodge cleverly conceals
1. Create an environment for an additional relationship
After some time, fixed rituals and a certain rhythm develop in every relationship. An additional relationship changes YOUR rhythm enormously.
The steady partner should of course not be aware of that. And that is why you must maintain or create your space for self-development.
In a practical sense that means:
Time to develop yourself must come!
Have you always come home from work punctually and have you spent the weekends together in principle? Are you suddenly coming home late or not at all because of "important appointments"? No one believes that! So, in terms of time, set up time periods when it is difficult for you to be controlled by your partner:
- It is of course ideal if you are on the road a lot due to your profession, e.g. on a business trip at home and abroad, to seminars for further training (these usually take place during the week ;-)), customer visits - or you do not work in your own place of residence .
- Develop new hobbies: fitness center, course at some institution, "going out" with girlfriends or friends, ski trip with a club ...
- As a woman, whose husband works and travels a lot, it is of course very easy for you.
Financial space too!
The financial resources are just as important as freedom in time. Because the additional relationship is normally associated with some extra expenses, eg fancy dining, meeting in hotels, a weekend trip with the new lover.
Therefore, put cash aside. Paying by card is quite risky.
Creating inconspicuous contact possibilities.
We recommend that you:
- Arrange a prepaid card for your mobile phone, which you can pay in cash and hide well, for example in the lining of a spectacle case or a wallet.
- Or you buy a second telephone for "private purposes". If the thing is discovered, you immediately have an excuse ready: "It belongs to a friend / colleague, he left it in the pub / office."
- Create a new e-mail account: this will not be accessed via an e-mail client such as "Outlook", but via the Internet. And best not at home. That way you won't leave any traces. You can find free e-mail accounts eg YAHOO, HOTMAIL or GMX.
Dodge cleverly conceals
2. The attitude towards the steady partner
Your steady partner knows you inside and out! In a phase with an additional relationship, you make yourself suspicious if you start to behave remarkably differently. Don't underestimate your lead partner's 7th sense! Women in particular have an inexplicable intuition for side jumps!
Play "everyday life"! Don't change your posture for an inch. Any change makes you suspicious - it doesn't matter in which direction. Particularly common fads:
- Spreading a pathologically good mood, preferably also immediately after getting up
- Give the steady partner a lot more or a lot less attention
- Or just dragging gifts through a bad conscience
- Not wanting sex at all or reacting differently in bed
- Painfully carefully emptied pockets
- Handling the mobile phone differently: on or off more often than usual, always carrying it with you, turning off the ringtone, silencing, vibrating alarm ...
Come up with simple, plausible excuses in advance!
"Think in advance" is the keyword here! Nothing is more painful and insidious than the spontaneous appearance of nervousness, stuttering and red head when you feel caught. "Whose SMS is?" "Uhuhuhuh ..." "Today there was a letter in the mail. You have been flashed. In Saint-Germain. What did you do there? "-" Uhuhuh ... "
Think of an excuse in advance for every step you take with your additional relationship. Was who could notice? What do I say when I am confronted with that? An excuse is the better the simpler, more plausible and logical it is.
Only lie in an emergency!
The more complicated your lie stories become, the easier it is to reveal a given moment and the sooner to reveal contradictions.
Dodge cleverly conceals
3. The attitude towards the partner of the complementary relationship
If you don't want to be discovered, then you must make your partner of the additional relationship your ally and agree on clear rules of the game, otherwise chaos will ensue very quickly.
Don't cheat with singles!
The problem of an additional relationship with an Only: Thinking that one can claim something! There is a great danger that the Only will fall in love with you and thus become a threat. This risk is much lower for someone who is in a committed relationship just like you.
Find a partner for an additional equal-level relationship. Not the career-seeking secretary who then demands a raise. Nor is your husband's employee lurking in the chief's chair. Assume someone who can take advantage of a dodge will someday ...
Play open card!
If you also lie to your complementary relationship partner, the affair quickly turns into a vabanque game! From the first meeting, admit that you have already been forgiven and are only looking for a little variety!
Determine game rules!
You should not only draw up rules to avoid being discovered yourself. It is equally important that rules are drawn up for you so that you do not pose a threat to your partner from the additional relationship. Because if it is discovered, then you will also be discovered. You can be sure of that. A few suggestions:
- When, how and by whom communication takes place (mobile phone, e-mail, SMS, ...?)
- When, where and how often are meetings possible?
- Who tells who what about cheating?
What to do at LCS?
The abbreviation "LCS" comes - how could it be otherwise - from America and stands for "Life Changing Sex". So the best sex of your life, which changes everything and drives you crazy. Is of course great, if you add this in your complementary relationship would experience, but also fairly critical for your steady relationship.
Our tip: first live the crazy "LCS" vigorously for a few weeks and then reconsider whether the whole history is really so important to you that you say goodbye to your main partner. At first you may be incredibly euphoric, but experience shows that everything is quickly also relative.
Contraceptives of paramount importance!
A child with a strange partner would be rather impractical. A venereal disease too. So insist on the use of, for example, a condom!
Avoid first names!
When cheating, mention your partner by first name as little as possible. Your brain gets used to it differently. And then you slip out of "Ohhh Petra" or "Ohhh Jan-Willem", when you are lying in bed with your steady partner or talking in your sleep.
Not too long with the same complementary relationship!
Old Rule: The longer you cheat with the same person, the more the business becomes a habit and the more casual you become. Hatsiekie - everything has come true. And remember: the longer a slipper lasts, the more difficult it is for your steady partner to forgive you.
Dodge cleverly conceals
4. Avoid and erase traces
Until now, our advice has primarily focused on staying undiscovered on the "soft" interpersonal level and minimizing risks. This part is about making sure that "hard facts" that could reveal adultery do not arise at all or remain invisible.
Watch for marks on the body!
Nothing is more insidious than lipstick, scratches on the back, perfume, hair and unwashed hands. So be careful to get your body back in order after the erotic adventure!
Do not show up together in public!
Always be on your guard. Avoid your favorite pub. Don't go through the mall tightly embraced. If coincidence wants it, you will immediately walk into the arms of someone you know of your steady partner.
Find suitable locations for the adultery!
Where will the secret love hour take place? We have checked the different locations:
- At her or him at home?
No, unfortunately taboo. Think of spots, unexpected arrival of the steady partner or, or, or.
- The cuddly meadow with friends
Co-knowers are very bad if you want to enter into an additional relationship professionally. Check out the following locations!
- In a hotel
Technical secrecy super, but in the long run somewhat expensive. And unfortunately a bit impersonal.
- In green
Find a sheltered spot! And remember to refresh yourself afterwards, otherwise you will have troubles!
- In the swing club
Yes, that may sound comical, but on closer inspection it is absolutely practical. Firstly, you can retire there in a separée, secondly it is often free for couples, thirdly there are drinks and snacks for sloths and fourthly you have fiddling and excitement including ...
You only initiated your best friend? Or your buddy gives you an alibi, because you covered him a while back? Or you brag a little tipsy, after all, one is among us. Then nothing can happen ...
do you think. Then what happens if the thick friendship is ever over. Then you have a considerable advantage against it. Or if your mate's wife gets divorced. He blames you and makes big trouble.
Stay in control!
You must be in control! Decide when to call! Record where meetings take place. Only then can you protect yourself from unpleasant surprises.
Think of the details!
Here are a few more little tips and tricks to avoid making yourself suspicious:
- Never save the additional relationship in the mobile phone under the real name. Better are innocent indications such as: "ANWB", "Mailbox from abroad"
- Under no circumstances search the additional relation from a PC to which the partner also has access. In any case, it is better to go to an internet cafe.
- Always pay with cash! Everything else gives traces, eg account statements or statements of your credit card payments, which end up in the collective letterbox.
- Follow the traffic rules! Otherwise you - possibly even accompanied - will be flashed or you will receive coupons for places where you should never have been!
- Utensils for your adultery can easily be hidden under the spare wheel in the trunk, at least temporarily.
Dodge cleverly conceals
5. If the additional relationship does come out at some point
To equip you for this unpleasant possibility of the possibilities, you should pay attention to the following three rules. Then it will be much easier for your regular partner to forgive you for your escapades.
Being discovered through a back door is the worst!
Our condolences. You come home unsuspecting and your partner knows everything. Great breach of trust, one feels cheated and betrayed. Giant scene. Everything off!
Remember, you must go on the offensive and confess everything! How? More on that later. And: you must always take into account that your cheating will come true. And always have a talking tactic in mind for this case!
Always immediately go on the offensive in blackmail attempts!
"If you don't live with me / don't give me $ 10,000, I'll betray everything to your wife!" Here too, the motto is: quickly go to your steady partner and confess everything.
Analyze the situation when confronted!
Your steady partner presents you: "You are cheating on me! I know exactly." Now, in no time at all, you need to release a lot of adrenaline, be highly focused and maintain your attitude. You have three goals: not lying plainly, that will only make things worse. Feeling the situation: what does he / she really know? : deny and trivialize as much as possible.
After your initial response, the point is then to give in as little as possible and downplay your adultery. And give reasons why it happened: alcohol in the game, seduced, you neglected me ...
Questions or suggestions ...?
Write to us!